I am one of those people who often has strong opinions, but is really really bad at articulating them. One of those things that I have a pretty solid opinion on, but have never been able to clearly articulate my beliefs is that of roles as men and women; husband and wife. So I'll start at the beginning. And by the beginning, I mean my beginning.
I've wanted to be a lot of things in my life. For many years, I wanted to be a vet. I wanted to be an overseas missionary. I wanted to be an opera singer. I want(ed) to sing with Hillsong United. Two things that have remained consistent through it all is my desire to be serving Christ, and to be a mommy. Even while I was still sleeping in a crib, I would rock my baby, Emma, to sleep, take her upstairs to my crib, look around awkwardly, then throw her as gracefully as possible into the crib. Luckily, she's just a doll. I always wanted to be a caring mom; one who would cuddle her babies, rock them to sleep, and bring them up in Christ. Sure, I might not have articulated it quite like that 15 years ago... To me, being a mom meant putting the interests of my children above my own. It meant being a stay at home mom, even if the budget was tight. I would much rather stay at home and nurture my children than pay to have a babysitter, who I may or may not know, come and influence my children. And let's be honest. Babysitters need money too. Will I be able to make enough money to justify paying someone to be with my children when I'm not there? Probably not.
Thus comes my dream of doing crafty stuff. I really want to sew stuff and sell it on Etsy. Or I can make jewelry. Or I can photograph. I can more or less do these from my house. A Proverbs 31 woman (which many Christian women hope to emulate) back in the day considered a field and would buy it, and with the fruit of her hands, she would plant a vineyard. Now, this isn't saying that we, as women, should go out buying fields and planting vineyards. However, this says a lot about the woman. She was obviously entrusted with an amount of money. Her husband had faith and trusted in her. She then didn't squander the money. She invested wisely in something that she could do (not necessarily easily) while maintaining her roles as mother and wife. She also made linen and sold it to the merchants. She woke up early to feed her household. I don't want to break down all of Proverbs 31, because that's not really the point. The point is, this woman worked hard while still remaining consistent in her God given roles.
Okay, so how do we know what our God given roles are? I have an idea. Let's look at the Word! Genesis 2:18, Adam has been created, but is not fulfilled. God then created Eve from his flesh to be his helper. I know women tend to hate this word, but I love it! The Hebrew word is "ezer" which means the one who supplies strength in the area that is lacking in "the helped." This means that men were created incomplete. Women were created to complement men. We (women) were not created to stand alone either. Of course, there are exceptions. Paul was not married, and his ministry flourished. However, in a family context, I strongly believe men need women, and likewise, women need men. Children need a mother and a father -- but this is a totally different topic. My point is that God created man and woman so perfectly. We lived in harmony in the garden. We knew our roles and respected them. However, probably even if you're not a Christian, you're familiar with the "forbidden fruit," or ultimately, sin, which separated us from God. I love how John MacArthur puts it in his book Twelve Extraordinary Women of the Bible. I want you to read Genesis 3 really carefully. I probably wouldn't have caught this, but thankfully, there are awesome and godly people in the world such as MacArthur, who study the Word in such an awesome way. Here are some interesting points.
*Adam was with Eve when the serpent deceived her. He did nothing to stop it. Not only that, but after she had eaten of the fruit, he also ate without an argument. *God is omniscient, right? He knows everything. He undoubtedly knew that Eve was the one to be deceived, yet He first confronts Adam.
Adam was not doing his job as protector. He let his wife be deceived. He was essentially deceived by the snake as well. He didn't take responsibility for his wife's actions either. He was super quick to point the blame at his wife, which isn't biblical. We should all be emulating Christ, but specifically husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph 5:25). Christ is way more than responsible for Christians. He loved us so much that He laid down His life for us to be able to be in communion with God. He doesn't sit around and allow us to sin. We fight it by ignoring the Spirit. Jesus did everything in His power to present us to God as a pure spotless bride. I believe there was a solid reason why God confronted Adam before Eve. I also think the "curses" then make an awful lot of sense. I'll come back to that in just a minute :)
Another way to know what my role as a Christian woman is, is to look at the roles of Christian men, and see how I fit into it. A prime example would be that if a Christian man is to be the head of the household (I Cor. 11:3) and thus, a leader, then the wife should be submissive (Back to Eph 5) to her husband, and ultimately his decisions. Submissive here is hypotasso, which means to obey, be subject, submit one's control, and to subordinate. Husbands are not told to submit to their wives. Rather, they are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church. I don't know about you, but I think that it is a whole lot easier for me to submit myself to the decisions of a Godly husband, than it would be for my husband to in turn, be willing to sacrifice himself daily for me. I'm not talking about literal death every single day. I'm talking about being willing to drop whatever he is doing to help serve me. Yes, husbands are to be servants as well. Submit, no. Serve, yes. I think that service is one of the main things we can learn from Christ. He did nothing but serve people. The word for "head" (head of the household) is kephale, which means cornerstone. Very necessary, but also quite useless by itself.
Okay, so. Husbands = leaders. They walk point for their family. This is a military term where the leader of the group, who is in turn, most exposed, is walking point. They take full responsibility for all who follow. Now, let's go back to the "curses." I'm sure all of you could say that the women were cursed with painful childbirth. There's so much more than that though. "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." I take this as the "curse" then a statement. This desire is not sexual, rather it is a woman desiring the role of her husband; to rule. That is not our original intended role at all. I don't know about you ladies, but I don't want to be the one walking point. There is a LOT more required of a Godly man and husband that we realize. I am more than glad to be in the role of supporter. Now, it is also important to remember that it is not at all that the man can do it all on his own, and that the woman is unnecessary and in a role that is below men. We are to complement each other!
I could go on and on and on, but I won't. I just want to end with the thought that if we always act out in love and with the Spirit, then we will have no problem to be in the roles God created us. However, we are sinful and self-seeking. I pray that I will continue to learn what it means to be a Godly woman, and actually apply it to my life instead of just have a ton of head knowledge.
I've wanted to be a lot of things in my life. For many years, I wanted to be a vet. I wanted to be an overseas missionary. I wanted to be an opera singer. I want(ed) to sing with Hillsong United. Two things that have remained consistent through it all is my desire to be serving Christ, and to be a mommy. Even while I was still sleeping in a crib, I would rock my baby, Emma, to sleep, take her upstairs to my crib, look around awkwardly, then throw her as gracefully as possible into the crib. Luckily, she's just a doll. I always wanted to be a caring mom; one who would cuddle her babies, rock them to sleep, and bring them up in Christ. Sure, I might not have articulated it quite like that 15 years ago... To me, being a mom meant putting the interests of my children above my own. It meant being a stay at home mom, even if the budget was tight. I would much rather stay at home and nurture my children than pay to have a babysitter, who I may or may not know, come and influence my children. And let's be honest. Babysitters need money too. Will I be able to make enough money to justify paying someone to be with my children when I'm not there? Probably not.
Thus comes my dream of doing crafty stuff. I really want to sew stuff and sell it on Etsy. Or I can make jewelry. Or I can photograph. I can more or less do these from my house. A Proverbs 31 woman (which many Christian women hope to emulate) back in the day considered a field and would buy it, and with the fruit of her hands, she would plant a vineyard. Now, this isn't saying that we, as women, should go out buying fields and planting vineyards. However, this says a lot about the woman. She was obviously entrusted with an amount of money. Her husband had faith and trusted in her. She then didn't squander the money. She invested wisely in something that she could do (not necessarily easily) while maintaining her roles as mother and wife. She also made linen and sold it to the merchants. She woke up early to feed her household. I don't want to break down all of Proverbs 31, because that's not really the point. The point is, this woman worked hard while still remaining consistent in her God given roles.
Okay, so how do we know what our God given roles are? I have an idea. Let's look at the Word! Genesis 2:18, Adam has been created, but is not fulfilled. God then created Eve from his flesh to be his helper. I know women tend to hate this word, but I love it! The Hebrew word is "ezer" which means the one who supplies strength in the area that is lacking in "the helped." This means that men were created incomplete. Women were created to complement men. We (women) were not created to stand alone either. Of course, there are exceptions. Paul was not married, and his ministry flourished. However, in a family context, I strongly believe men need women, and likewise, women need men. Children need a mother and a father -- but this is a totally different topic. My point is that God created man and woman so perfectly. We lived in harmony in the garden. We knew our roles and respected them. However, probably even if you're not a Christian, you're familiar with the "forbidden fruit," or ultimately, sin, which separated us from God. I love how John MacArthur puts it in his book Twelve Extraordinary Women of the Bible. I want you to read Genesis 3 really carefully. I probably wouldn't have caught this, but thankfully, there are awesome and godly people in the world such as MacArthur, who study the Word in such an awesome way. Here are some interesting points.
*Adam was with Eve when the serpent deceived her. He did nothing to stop it. Not only that, but after she had eaten of the fruit, he also ate without an argument. *God is omniscient, right? He knows everything. He undoubtedly knew that Eve was the one to be deceived, yet He first confronts Adam.
Adam was not doing his job as protector. He let his wife be deceived. He was essentially deceived by the snake as well. He didn't take responsibility for his wife's actions either. He was super quick to point the blame at his wife, which isn't biblical. We should all be emulating Christ, but specifically husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph 5:25). Christ is way more than responsible for Christians. He loved us so much that He laid down His life for us to be able to be in communion with God. He doesn't sit around and allow us to sin. We fight it by ignoring the Spirit. Jesus did everything in His power to present us to God as a pure spotless bride. I believe there was a solid reason why God confronted Adam before Eve. I also think the "curses" then make an awful lot of sense. I'll come back to that in just a minute :)
Another way to know what my role as a Christian woman is, is to look at the roles of Christian men, and see how I fit into it. A prime example would be that if a Christian man is to be the head of the household (I Cor. 11:3) and thus, a leader, then the wife should be submissive (Back to Eph 5) to her husband, and ultimately his decisions. Submissive here is hypotasso, which means to obey, be subject, submit one's control, and to subordinate. Husbands are not told to submit to their wives. Rather, they are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church. I don't know about you, but I think that it is a whole lot easier for me to submit myself to the decisions of a Godly husband, than it would be for my husband to in turn, be willing to sacrifice himself daily for me. I'm not talking about literal death every single day. I'm talking about being willing to drop whatever he is doing to help serve me. Yes, husbands are to be servants as well. Submit, no. Serve, yes. I think that service is one of the main things we can learn from Christ. He did nothing but serve people. The word for "head" (head of the household) is kephale, which means cornerstone. Very necessary, but also quite useless by itself.
Okay, so. Husbands = leaders. They walk point for their family. This is a military term where the leader of the group, who is in turn, most exposed, is walking point. They take full responsibility for all who follow. Now, let's go back to the "curses." I'm sure all of you could say that the women were cursed with painful childbirth. There's so much more than that though. "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." I take this as the "curse" then a statement. This desire is not sexual, rather it is a woman desiring the role of her husband; to rule. That is not our original intended role at all. I don't know about you ladies, but I don't want to be the one walking point. There is a LOT more required of a Godly man and husband that we realize. I am more than glad to be in the role of supporter. Now, it is also important to remember that it is not at all that the man can do it all on his own, and that the woman is unnecessary and in a role that is below men. We are to complement each other!
I could go on and on and on, but I won't. I just want to end with the thought that if we always act out in love and with the Spirit, then we will have no problem to be in the roles God created us. However, we are sinful and self-seeking. I pray that I will continue to learn what it means to be a Godly woman, and actually apply it to my life instead of just have a ton of head knowledge.
This is great, Janelle! I think you articulate yourself very well.
ReplyDeleteWe looked at Ephesians 5 in one of my classes this semester and the professor suggested something I'd never considered before. My professor said that husbands are told to submit to their wives! Verse 21 belongs with the rest of the household code as an overarching command. So we often read verse 22 directly after verse 21, but it would also be correct to read verse 25 directly after verse 21. 5:22-24 clarifies 5:21 for wives and 5:25-30 clarifies 5:21 for husbands.
In the end maybe it's just a matter of which word you want to use and the meaning doesn't change much at all.